16 January 2009
Joy In My Heart
You know, I don't think I had experienced joy for a long time until the other day. Joy is hard to describe. This was a sort of feeling that I hadn't really had since I was a kid. I was finishing up my shower about a week ago and all of a sudden I was aware of a feeling of nothing. I wasn't worried about Heath, I wasn't afraid of the decisions I am going to have to make in my life, and I wasn't insecure about... anything! For a long time, I have felt very cynical about the struggles and obstacles in my life, however small they may be. I have worried about what path I am going to take in my life next and what people around me will think of the choices I make about what I do in my life. But on this night I experienced peace which led to unrequited joy, and I just about danced out of the shower. I had been actually talking to the Lord about what is going on in my life and the things I struggle with in my character, even though He already knows what I am going to say and what I am feeling. It's like, God is real, and He likes to hear from me just like a real live human being would. I think of it this way; I would feel bad if I never said anything to my Mom and just thought about how much I love her, or if I just thought about having conversations with her. I realized that the same is even more true with God. He's not that far away. Some people may think that God is some 'thing' that we can pray to and hope that He decides to listen and possibly even do something about our prayers. But I think that God is like the invisible friend that you always had as a kid when you got lonely. When we were young, that invisible friend was just as real as any other, but the difference was that the invisible one never had to go home. I have found that the Holy Spirit is always with me and really does speak to me when I listen, and I have felt peace in my life like I have never experienced before. I have always known Godly people throughout my life, and when I have been stressed about something in my life, they always told me to just "give it to the Lord". I felt like I was missing something when I "gave it to Him", but didn't "feel" any better or different really. But the truth is, I wasn't really giving the problems and stress and anxiety to God, I was telling Him that I would trust Him if I didn't have to take a risk. Trust is reliance and confidence in a person, and the Bible affirms the total trustworthiness of God, especially in relation to his promises to his people. Christian faith is, essentially, trust in the person and character of God. Now the grounds for trust in God are His power and strength, His unfailing love, and His salvation. When we trust God, He promises results of peace, security, protection from danger, freedom from fear, prosperity (often of a spiritual nature), strength and physical life. This is how I know that I am learning to trust God! I am experiencing most if not all of these things in my own life right now. This in turn causes me to have joy in the everyday blessings of life and in the work that God continues to do in my heart, and I want everyone to know it!