glad to be back

Five-hundred dollars a new logic-board later on Tuesday, I should be back to tacking away on my own keyboard again. It's amazing how much you take something for granted until it's gone. Or not available for a while...

At Manly Beach, Sydney, Australia - 2010

So, this year has flown by quite rapidly. Some of the things that have been happening include getting a new car, living with some friends for a few months (and making some fantastic new ones!), and traveling overseas. The Lord has been doing so much and has just provided for me in ways I couldn't imagine. 

I have come to a place in my life now, where I am wanting to be independent. I have always had that in me, but I have also struggled with fear in going outside of my comfort zone. This year has been all about breaking out of that. I have been a lot more spontaneous and it has served to put a little more fun in my life. I have been one to try to control my situation a lot, and I worry about making decisions because I might not be in control anymore and also because it often leads to the unknown. Fear of the unknown has really bogged me down in worry throughout my growing up and I know I have passed up a lot of good opportunities that could have been great. But, everything happens for a reason. Most of the time things happen to me for a better reason than I could have come up with in the first place.

Seagulls and Pigeons in a park, Sydney, Australia

I have discovered that I don't really know myself. The journey now begins for me as I wait for the Lord to reveal my path. I am discovering new things, possible directions on my journey, and lots of good encouragement. It is also hard. I've realized how empty I've let my life become by hiding behind the fears in my life and not letting the Lord do what He does best. He is the ultimate Guide and has a way better map than I do to navigate all of the crazy stuff in life! Giving over control to Him is also not easy, but I know I won't grow very much if I don't give him everything. 

I have made some pretty incredible friendships in the past few months. By giving over my fear of sharing my heart, the Lord has blessed me with a sister in Christ who I trust and admire. We share experiences and ideas and sadness, and we relish each others' happiness, laughter, and triumphs. I am finally able to look into myself and ask myself a question and truly begin to give myself an honest answer. Mostly because I was able to open up to her and answer the hard questions she asked me. A good friend is an immense blessing, and one that helps to keep you accountable is invaluable.

Mom and I talking with Uncle Max, an Aborigine at Circular Quay, Sydney, Australia

Now, my horizons are holding clouds promising more new experiences. I think school is looming large, and there is a chance for more travel as well. I am really feeling called back to school for a lot of reasons. I love learning and am really wanting more experience in the field I am in and how I can use that to impact people. I saw an article about the Surma and Mursi tribes in Ethiopia, and it really piqued my interest in how other cultures perceive beauty. Maybe I am meant to change the way the world looks at beauty with my work. It has been a conviction of mine for a while. I guess I'll see where the Lord takes it. 

Most of all this year, I feel like I have been waking up from a really deep sleep. My heart is waking up and I am finding what excites me about life. I am finding my life! I feel as though my journey has just begun, even though there is a lot of "journeying" that has gone before this. I am really excited to see where I am in a year and what I am doing. Keep checking back often, you never know what adventure the Lord with have me on next!