Talking to my Heavenly Daddy

I realized something after talking to Heath. How hard it really must be for parents to let their children go. To let them grow up and go to college, to work somewhere, and to get married. So often I find myself reminiscing about my childhood. I remember so many things. He and I were talking and he mentioned how the first five or six years of our lives we don't worry about anything or think deeply about any kinds of problems. We have no cares because we know that our parents are there. We know that they keep us safe and provide for all of our needs. We are free to play and shovel water around the yard and to swirl around in our kiddie pool. How short a time it seems to have been since I was that way. I can remember every detail as if I was there just a moment ago. I can smell the slightly mildewy odor of the kiddie pool when Mom first took it out of the garage. I can feel the squish of wet St. Augustine grass under my bare feet and feel the soft warmness of the new Summer sun on my skin. If these things seemed to fly by for me, they must have seemed like mere seconds to my parents.

Now I did have another thought. Today as I was sitting here at home trying to get rid of this cold I picked up, I decided "to heck with picking up my room and making sure everything is tidy. I have been needed to take some time just to do something for myself." To do something that I love. I decided to create a piece of artwork. I relinquished all of the pressures of making it look good for anyone in particular. I quieted my inner critic and dove in. Somehow my thoughts turned to my current state of happiness. To be honest, I have felt quite cynical of myself lately. I began to think of when I was a child and how my feelings about my everyday life were different then. How I was joyful and played and danced and had innumerable ideas of things I could create. Where did that joy and love of life go? I wondered. I wanted it back.

That brings me back to the beginning of my story. As a child I depended on my parents and did not have to worry for anything. I was joyful and happy. As a grown person now, what keeps me from resting in my Heavenly Father in the same way? He has so much more power and ability to keep me fed and safe and content than the entire planet of parents combined! So where did I get to be an unhappy, cynical, griping adult with a too often negative outlook on life? Did I realize what was happening here?! I had bought a lie! The enemy has been doing his best to drag me down and make me believe that I am just an ordinary adult with an ordinary life that has responsibilities and could never possibly have the faith of a child. I have things much more important to hold onto like my job, my comforts, and even my family. I can grip everything so tightly that I choke God right out of it. Too often I don't let Him hold me, and I don't hold on to Him in return.

I am drawn inward again to think of my childhood. Back to the backyard in the floppy, vinyl kiddie pool my sister and I swam in. Back to the wet grass between my bare little feet. Back to the warm, summer sun on my skin and I remember something. I was at peace like only a child could be. I wasn't jaded by the "stuff" that happens in life yet. There were no bad experiences save fighting over a toy every now and then. I just waited to hear my Mom's voice calling me in for grilled cheese sandwiches or homemade pop-sickles and I trusted her with my whole heart. Just the way our heavenly Daddy wants us to trust Him. What a freeing thought!

I am reminded to let the Love of the Lord pour out in my life and to be who the Father created me to be. He made me creative, funny, thoughtful and inventive. So why keep all that inside? I need to be who the Lord created me to be to give Him the glory!

Dress Hunting Warrior Princess

Ever since getting back from camp, I have been on the hunt for a dress fit for a maid of honor to wear to her sister's wedding. (Yes, my dream has come true. I am finally getting to be something other than a flower girl at a wedding.) Now, you may think that it wouldn't be that hard to find a nice formal dress that fits right and looks nice. Not so fast. This is no ordinary wedding! My sister Amy and her beloved fiancee Jeremiah set their precious hearts on a Celtic wedding. I was so excited! We found a really cool pattern for Amy's dress and mom had a seamstress make the dress from a fine linen and some really beautiful lace. I can't wait to have pictures to put up. After Amy left, I remembered that I too needed something to wear and set about looking at resale shops, on eBay, and at the mall for something that would work. I found a couple of candidates, but they were too drab and too short for the occasion. After some more digging on the internet, I ran across Pearson's Renaissance Shoppe. And let me tell you, as soon as I saw the Forest Princess dress, I knew that I had found my outfit! So I bagged that beast and soon it'll be hanging up in my closet. Thank goodness there isn't a taxidermy fee for dresses.... :^)

-No, the photo is not of me, but I was too excited to wait to put my own pictures up!-

Summer of Love - Part I

"Arise, SHINE, for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord rises upon you." Isaiah 60:1

Hmmm. Where do I begin? I must say even before I being to tell the story of my summer, that the Lord is good. His mercies are new every day and His righteousness shines like the sun. He is Jehovah-Tsidkenu, the Lord our Righteousness. As I have learned to be faithful and wait on the Lord, He has been faithful to show up. Part of being in a right relationship with God is believing and trusting in Him and although I am a fallible human being, the Holy Spirit has the power to produce true righteousness in my life as a believer. I have encountered the love of God in such amazing ways this summer and am so excited to share it with you! I cannot help but want to write down everything that He has done and tell everyone about it.

I guess I should start by telling you about my feelings going into the summer. I was alone. And scared. And hungry. I knew that God was up there somewhere and that He said He loves me, but I wanted to feel it. I wanted to feel His love in my life. I wanted to have a personal experience and I was begging God for that. I saw a lot of the other summer staff at JH Ranch that had had encounters with God, and I could see it in them and on their faces and hear it in their voices. I have to admit that I was jealous and even angry about it sometimes. I didn't understand why God wouldn't just do something and show up.

That all began to change one night in the Big Top a few weeks into my time there. I sat in the back of the tent after listening to the dating talk and just broke down. I asked God to tell me that He loves me. I opened my Bible and the Lord immediately showed me Psalm 63. The verse (3) that says "because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you" just really got to me. I sat there reading it over and over again. My heavenly Father spoke so clearly to my heart that I could not deny His voice. He also told me that it was OK to be hungry and thirsty and to need help from Him, and He promised me that He would show up.

"O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my sould thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water. I have seen you in the sanctuary and beheld your power and your glory. Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you. I will praise you as long as I live, and in your name I will lift up my hands. My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods; with singing lips my mouth will praise you. On my bed I remember you; I think of you in the watches of the night. Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings. My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me. They who seek to destroy my life will be destroyed; they will go down to the depths of the earth. They will be given over to the sword and become food for jackals. But the king will rejoice in God; all who swear by God's name will praise him, while the mouths of liars will be silenced."
-Psalm 63


I realized that the love toward other people that Bruce had talked about was impossible without the Love of God. I came to the realization that I couldn't love others if I didn't let God love me. Oh, but it gets better! As I walked back to my girls staff house that night, I was so overcome by emotion. I had only sobbed like this maybe once or twice in my life! Truth be told, I was actually quite glad that I was alone on that walk home. There is a wooden one-lane bridge that I had to cross to get home and it marks the end of the long driveway into the ranch. As I crossed over it, still sobbing, something made me look up at the night sky between the trees. I saw millions of glittering stars. I looked back down and walked a little ways. Again something made me look up at the stars and I saw the majestic ribbon of the Milky Way clearer than I had ever seen it before and I laughed a little. As I kept walking and looking, the Father of all creation in His infinite love spoke to my heart and told me that He loved me. He wrote me a love note in the stars and said, "See all of these stars? They may seem small and insignificant, but I want you to know that I love you. And even though I may not have spoken to you through visions and angels like some, I am going to reveal my love to you ways that are special for just you and me."

Now, at this point I had reached the beginning of the driveway and was laughing and crying at the same time. I had heard Him! He was personal and gentle, yet His love was so powerful and strong. Eventually I went inside my house and began to read again and He showed me Psalm 45:11.
"The king is enthralled by your beauty; honor him, for he is your lord." -Psalm 45:11

He was promising to show me His love in little ways that I would not expect, and even in big ways that would blow my expectations away.

-Look for Part II coming soon!-

Matilda's Vintage Closet

Ladies, this is the neatest place ever to go find the best vintage clothing and accessories! I heard about Matilda's from Andie Miller, a girl who I met at the Element. http://www.theelementsite.com/ We decided to go down there on a Saturday. Matilda's is out in Old Glendale in the main street part of town. We tried on a bunch of hats including some vintage swim caps and all kinds of things from cloches to wide brimmed beauties. The way Matilda's new store is laid out, she has almost all of the hats on one wall in the front of the store. I thought I had died and gone to heaven when I saw all of them. You see I am not much of a shoe girl, but put me in with some hats and I'm gone. All of the clothing in the store is arranged according to decade. She has a whole mess of vintage wedding stuff and also a men's section too. After Andie and I got tired of trying on hats, we tried on some clothes. Andie found a great mint green dress with little white polka-dots on it. It fit her perfectly! I tried on a vintage 40's Teena Paige dress and some other things. I also tried on a really amazing black velvet and fur Victor Costa. I just fell in love with it! So without drooling on and on about all of the wonderful stuff at Matilada's, I'll just show it to you!

Mmmmm. Yummy.

I officially know of the BEST deli in Scottsdale! It's called Chloe's Corner in Scottsdale Kierland. They have all kinds of stuff form sandwiches to salads and other deli delights. My friend Heath had gone in there to grab something before he came up to my house the other day. He talked to the owners and asked them what they would recommend. They told him to get the smoked turkey and the roast beef. No joke, these were the most awesome sandies I have ever eaten. We split them and each ate half. The turkey sandwich had cranberry sauce and just the right amount of turkey and bread (which also had cranberries in it) and whatever else they put on it. It was devine! Then we dove into the roast beef sandwich. By this time we had gotten into the little paper bags of pickles that they had thrown in. Once again, AMAZING. I'm not usually so keen on roast beef sandwiches, but this one had pickles, tomatoes, provologne cheese, some kind of dressing (but not too much) and lettuce and oh man, was it good. It was on the best bread ever. I am not sure what kind of bread it was, but I am seriously thinking about going in there and asking them. It looked kind of like a square ciabatta bread, but it tasted waaaaay better and was soft and just moist. It was foodie heaven. Now the best part about this joint is that they sell real cokes from Mexico. Yes, we are talking about the ones with sugar and not high-fructose corn syrup. If you haven't been into Chloe's Corner, you should go. It's a little higher on the price side for some since the sandwiches are around 6-7 dollars, but if you appreciate really good food, then it's worth it. So go check out Chloe's!

Finally! Hike Pictures...

I finally had some time to do some editing the other day and started in on the Canyon Lake hike that Heath and I did last weekend. It was one of our favorite hikes so far, with a beautiful canyon stream at the end. We hiked about 9 miles total (me in my Chacos), and loved every mile of it. The photos are in order...













This is my favorite photo from the trip (below)

Chuhuly Exhibit - Part III

This is the third installation of Chuhuly photos from the Botanical Gardens. I told Mom and Dad how many photos I had taken (over 700), and that it was taking some considerable time to sort through them all. So here are more of the glass installations...